Tuesday, March 10, 2020

5 Better Things to Say Instead of Im Sorry At Work

5 Better Things to Say Instead of Im Sorry At Work Not to contribute toward societys habit of picking apart feminine communication patterns, but Ill say it in my own life, at least, the tendency to over-apologize was something I had to put effort into unlearning.Now that I struggle less (or at least less than I once did) with assuming responsibility for just about everything that happens in the world, Im sorry isnt quite as common a part of my daily vocabulary. Which is ideal. After all, beyond the issue of taking responsibility where it isnt due, as a default apology, this language has the tendency to oversimplify a situation into black-and-white terms my fault versus yours. And that isnt always the most beneficial tool for arriving at actual solutions, including in our careers.The next time you feel compelled to say Im sorry at work, consider whether one of the following five statements might better capture your true meaning.You want to say Im so sorry Im late in getting this to y ou.Instead, say Thank you for patience as I finalize this project Im excited to hear your thoughts once Ive submitted it to you on X date.By switching from Im sorry to thank you, your show of gratitude gives the other festivitt something in response for the inconvenience you fear youve caused. It also allows you to retain ownership of the situation while pointing toward a soon-to-be-had solution which is certainly preferable to an empty sorry.You want to say Im sorry to bother you.Instead, say I know how busy you are, but Id love your feedback on something. Is now a good time?Were all busy, and its good to be mindful of that. But being busy doesnt mean that speaking to you isnt also a related function of this persons job, and that needing their help is something you should feel sorry for. Acknowledge the fact youre asking to use up some of their time without the apologetic preamble.You want to say Im so sorry I wasnt prepared for that presentation.Instead, say That didnt go the dir ection Id planned. Heres how Ill fix it.A cut-to-the-chase solution is always preferable to a drawn out I really messed that one up apology. Starting to see a pattern here?You want to say Im sorry, but I disagree.Instead, say Thats an interesting perspective. Heres how I was thinking of it.Having a difference in viewpoints isnt something either party should feel the need to apologize for. Period. When you use the above language free of Im sorry, you reinforce the idea that more than one perspective can be valid at a time, and thats likelier to yield better outcomes.You want to say I heard about what happened, and Im sorry.Instead, say That must have been so hard to navigate. Im here to help if you need anything, including by doing X thing.If something bad has happened in a colleagues personal life, try switching from a place of sympathy (a la Im sorry) to a place of empathy when showing your concern. Itll make for a more meaningful exchange and strengthen your connection to them.--

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