So, My Husband Quit His Job... - When I Grow Up

So, My Husband Quit His Job... - When I Grow Up Never Let the Fear by Classy Canvas So  my husband  quit his full-time job as an Associate Creative Director for an advertising agency to freelance, and his first day as a Man of the World was Fri, March 29th. I asked him if hed be cool with me talking about it here, but since hes a writer himself, he said hed like to do it(you can read the other post hes written for me  here). While it took him quite some time to get the article ready for publishing, he knew what he needed to talk about: fear. Ill let him take it from here. Then well get a beer! (Sorry, I cant ever resist a rhyme) When I was 10 years old, I played Little Legue baseball. And I loved it. At that age, I was in the Minors division, so uniforms consisted of t-shirts and hats, games lasted about 6 innings (often in a tie) and the skill level of most players was not the highestin fact, I was the Don Mattingly of my team. One year later I moved up to the Majors division, which was an entirely different ball game (well, not literally). Uniforms consisted of jerseys, pants, hats and stirrups (cleats were also encouraged), games lasted about 9 innings (and went into overtime if need be), and the skill level of most players was much higher than I had anticipatedin fact, I was now the Don Rickles of my team. Combine this newfound stress with a newfound obese 11 year-old body, and I was the perfect storm of fear and anxiety (funnily enough, as I write these words my heart is beating a little bit faster, my palms a little sweatier and I can hear the yelling of overbearing fathers in the back of my mind). And I hated it. I hated playing baseball. My batting average that first year (and the second year) was .000. I could not hit the ball even when it was served to me on a silver platter. The fear of not being able to perform at the plate was so overwhelming that my brain couldnt comprehend how anyone could hit a ball. The timing, the force, the position of the batall of my former skills suddenly went away and I couldnt figure out how to get them back. So I quit baseball for good. It took a long time for me to realize what happened to me on the diamond all those years ago, and the conclusion Ive come to is this: I let fear win. It was that simple. I let fear tell me that I couldnt do what I knew that I could. Fear was so powerful that it convinced my brain (which then went on to convince me) that I wasnt meant to be a ballplayer, even for fun. Youve picked up on the metaphor, right? I want to tell you that Ive overcome my fear. That every time I get up to the plate, I can make a connection with the ball. But the truth is that even writing this post gave me the shakes. And while Im disappointed about how long it took me to realize that it was fear holding me back, I take solace in the fact that I now recognize the voice of fear vs. the voice of my brain (I have many voices in my head but thats another story). I also take solace in the fact that fear is a formidable foe, it isnt an invincible one. It was fear that kept me behind the desk of a job I didnt love. And while I was comforted by years of encouragement and confidence in my unchosen profession, it was fear that prevented me from exploring other avenues and other possible career paths for my writing. However, Im proud to say that Ive recently left my full-time job in an effort to go freelance, but more in an effort to confront and conquer my fear. I dont know what the future holds, and that scares the hell out of me, but I know that if I dont step up to the plate and take a swing, Im just going to be sitting on the bench for the rest of my life. Ill keep you posted on my batting average. Luke Ward  is a writer made up of a hint of humor, a dash of heart, and 5 cups of porcini mushrooms cooked slow lowly over a low heat. You can find his work online, on television, and on stage. He’s developed multi-million dollar campaigns for the likes of Pfizer, Volvo, Crown Royal and he’s worked on the underground hits “Project Improviser” and “To Be Continued.” He’s also got really great hair. Too new to be reviewed, too sharp to be held back and too in your face to be not have gum on him at all times, Luke is the writer you’ve been looking for. Were you to be seeking out a writer.